Harry Potter and the Washing Up Liquid

I'm reading the Harry Potter series in English for the first time, British English that is. I can say with confidence that I have read these books enough times that I notice when something seems slightly off. I knew that Harry, Ron, and Hermione would be uncovering the mystery of the Philosopher's Stone instead of the Sorcerer's Stone for example, but I wasn't prepared for the numerous other small changes. Dudley gets a "cine-camera" for his eleventh birthday; Dumbledore eats "sherbet lemon" instead of lemon drops; the merry-go-round at the zoo is a "roundabout"; Hogwarts students are always "revising" for exams instead of studying. And my favorite one of all is this gem from Order of the Phoenix,

"'Anyway, it's a nightmare of a year, the fifth,' said George. 'If you care about exam results, anyway. Fred and I managed to keep our peckers up somehow.'"

Whoa, TMI Weasley twins! Now, I have no idea what George says in the American translation, but it probably wasn't anything boner-related. I think I'd remember that. I wonder other little surprises I will find in the rest of the series. I don't think the content was changed, but it is a little jarring that these books that have been such a big part of my life are suddenly so unfamiliar.

In addition to learning such valuable life lessons from Harry Potter, living in Ireland has also led me to realize that there are some huge differences between British and American English. Sometimes I genuinely have no idea what people are talking about. It took me a long time to realize that "tea" can mean dinner. When someone asks what you are having for tea, tea is not always the right answer. Sometimes tea is spaghetti. If someone tells you to bring your togs, that means bring your bathing suit, unless you want to go naked swimming. A press is a cupboard. Courgette, rocket, and aubergine are zucchini, arugula, and eggplant, respectively. I have to remind myself not to get excited when people talk about hockey here because they are referring to field hockey, not ice. Sometimes, I think British English takes way too long to describe items. Why say "washing up liquid" when I could just say "dish soap"? Maybe this is why they shorten so many other words (choc, sammy/sambo, telly, brill, fab, veg). Are they trying to make up for lost time? And then there are some things that just don't make any sense at all, like "drink-driving." That's not even grammatically possible people!

Kissing

Growing up, whenever my family went to an event that involved distant relations and their friends, my younger sister would always ask the same question-- "Am I going to have to kiss them?" At the time I didn't quite understand her anxiety. Aside from ending up with the inevitable pink lipstick residue on my cheeks there really wasn't much to worry about. Hug, kiss, walk away, and chug some Shirley Temples. Pretty straightforward, right? Not always. Kissing is part of greeting rituals in Ireland too, but unfortunately I've come to share my sister's anxiety about it. Now kissing is all worry without the Shirley Temple reward. "Do I really have to kiss them?", I ask myself. The first reason for my distress is that I don't even really want to kiss acquaintances and strangers, at least not every time I see them. I wouldn't be writing this entry if I did. I have tried distracting people with a hug or a handshake, but they always swoop back in for the peck. I know they're expecting it too, so I give in because I don't want to seem cold. The second reason is lack of kissing protocol. Some people like to do both cheeks, some people do just one, some people switch back and forth depending on the occasion. As a result, I have no idea how many kisses I'm in for. The most awkward thing is when I expect two kisses, but they only want one, so now I'm the one leaning in for an unwanted smooch while my unfortunate victim tries to fend me off. Slightly less awkward is what happens when I'm not sure which side of the face to start of with. He goes left, I go right and then it happens-- we're locking lips, ugh. I'm already pretty awkward most of the time(see below) and I don't think this kissing thing is going to help with that.